January 30: I have often found the Autumn and Winter to be the most difficult seasons of the year. Where Spring is sparkling, sunny and rejuvenating, Autumn and Winter are dark, dreary and diminishing. I have often retreated into a period of sitting and waiting for the warmer weather to return, and this year has been only slightly better. We have had a somewhat warmer Autumn, with temperatures in positive territory, for much of January. This encouraged me to keep running on alternate days, and to hobble off to the gym when I had time. The return to more normal temperatures means that I have not run for more than a week, and the gym has been a non-starter.
I completely understand that the lack of physical exercise has contributed to a downturn in my outlook, and I have begun to retreat to the couch to watch TV and think about various problems. This has meant that I have spent too much time considering the various ways that out imbecilic Provincial Premier is ruining the province (perhaps more on that later….). And as Chair of the Garden Court Tenant Association I am still grappling with an above-guideline rent increase request that will require organizing for a hearing at the Landlord and Tenant Board. The difficulties I found last year trying to find contractors for the cottage apparently also apply to paralegals who work in this field.
The thing is: All of this is well known to me. It’s a seasonal shift in mood that I deal with to varying degrees every year. This year is no different. When I have a moment and actually consider my life – everything that it involves – I realize how truly fortunate I am. As we say: “First world problems…” There are many, including some friends, who are not in such a comfortable place and face much worse problems than me. Many in Toronto fall through the cracks as the economy continues to gyrate and societal supports are stretched to the limit. Recent violence on the streets and the transit system are reminders of how we have failed to care for those less fortunate and in need of care.
The snow filters down past the windows and I am warm and dry inside. I have an affordable place to live, and many friends who support me. I have a wonderful daughter and son-in-law and their rambunctious kids to remind of the future. I am comfortable financially and I do remind myself frequently that I own a private island in Lake Muskoka. Not many can say that, and it is a privilege for me to do so.
So the blahs have arrived – again – and “this too shall pass”. My mood will lighten as the days lengthen and the prospect of Spring returns. Eight weeks to the end of March…..