January 18: Infrequent readers – if there are in fact any out there – will have noticed a dearth of posts over the last few months. When I started this little venture in 2015, I thought of it as a way of passing along information about preparations for my trip to Europe, and then sharing the small adventures that happened during the time I was away. When I came home, there were other fun things to share, and further trips in 2017, 2018 and 2019 which provided fodder and photos for my miscellaneous ramblings (with apologies to fans of Road & Track). I’ve always thought that this site as more than a journal of events; it’s also about my reaction to what’s happening.
Given that we have essentially been under house arrest for much of the last 2 years, the lack of new material here should perhaps not be surprising. As mentioned in the following post from November, I’ve found the last few months to be somewhat difficult. To go from a relatively active and unrestricted Summer to a lockdown was very discouraging. To then have a fourth wave of infections surge across the country when we had imagined we might be rid of the whole thing was a real punch in the gut. The rate of infection and the exponential effect it has had on our daily life, and the health care system in particular, has been horrifying.
Initially, this made me quite worried. Throughout the first waves I was concerned. Not to the extent of washing shopping bags and changing clothes after being outside, but I knew that the virus needed to be treated with respect, and precautions needed to be taken. The first waves seemed somehow more manageable and controlled, but with Omicron my fears have been amplified. An early report of a new variant didn’t surprise me; it did cause a small spike in adrenaline when news came that the cases were spreading like wildfire.
This left me with a sense of inevitability: I will get the virus at some point and it will impact my life in ways I can only imagine. Over the last couple of months I have become somewhat reclusive. I’m inside most days, venturing out only to do some shopping or for a quick walk around the block. I would prefer to limit my potential exposure by being on my own most of the time. I’ve not been running recently, nor have I been painting (or writing, obviously !) so I’ve become bored and restless and occasionally sad. And angry.
I know that I am not alone in having these emotions. This is a difficult time for everyone, whether we choose to admit it or not. As humans we need social connection and support. It’s not healthy to be alone for long periods of time. We need validation for what we do and how we feel. Being a productive and valued member of society is important to self-worth and happiness. Not having these things in our lives for more than 2 years has implications now, and those will reverberate for years to come. These are the things that make me restless and sad.
Today came more contradictory messages from our Provincial government. Cases may be coming down but the number of people in hospital continues to increase, and will do so for the foreseeable future. So they are considering lifting some of the current restrictions. If you feel sick, then stay at home; we don’t really have enough tests to tell you whether you are infected in any case. It’s this sort of “anemometer approach to pandemic planning” (as Robyn Urback called it in the Globe and Mail) that makes me angry. Decisions are being made on the basis of reviving political support, rather than on the advice of recognized medical advice. Look where that’s got us so far.
So in the end I have not a lot to say about recent events in my life, but somewhat more to say about how the pandemic has affected my outlook. I’m physically alone but not alone emotionally in my reactions. Perhaps you recognize some similarities in your own situation. Hopefully, some day soon, we’ll be able to share thoughts together over a coffee or a glass of vino. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. A distant light, but a light nonetheless. Hopefully, it’s not a train….
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P.S. After I finished writing this post, I watched the following interview with Dr. Angela Rasmussen. There were two messages that resonated for me: the first being the potential for the spread of a further more lethal wave, and the second, her viewpoint on living in Canada.
Famed virologist Angela Rasmussen on Omicron’s origins, what’s next for the pandemic | CBC.ca