February 19: It seems that each day brings new allegations of sexual misconduct by actors, businessmen or politicians. While it is obviously necessary and appropriate to address these charges, there are aspects of the whole movement that leave me a bit uncomfortable.
To be clear: Sexual assault is assault and it is a crime no matter when it occurred. What I am considering here are the seemingly more frequent and nuanced interactions that include harassment, inappropriate or unwanted touching and comments. These seem to me to be on a sliding scale of severity and the intent needs to be closely examined. When does a supportive arm across the shoulders after a bad day become unwanted contact ?
Many of these events happened decades ago. When I look back on my own life, I am painfully aware of how misguided some of my opinions and actions would look if viewed through the lens of today’s values and mores. There were times when my behaviour toward particular women would be called inappropriate if judged by todays’ values. At the time, (we’re talking the 70’s and 80’s here), love ’em and leave ’em was much more prevalent and understood, at least by my own demographic. Yet viewed through todays value system, some people would see my actions as something more sinister than exploring sexuality. Values change and I’m not sure that we can use the values of today to understand the actions of the past.
If I was, in fact, confronted by my past, I wonder how I could respond. Most of the men charged in these cases have denied their accusers, yet it seems that they have already been found guilty and charged. The mere fact of the accusation makes it true in many minds. And if those charges are ultimately proven to be unfounded, I wonder if those men won’t remain tainted by them.
And how do we resolve these charges when they arise ? Absent criminal charges, which may be difficult to lay after years have elapsed, I believe that the only route available is civil action through the courts. I know from experience that litigation is by definition an adversarial process. It is combat. There are winners and losers and sadly, the truth may be a loser. The casting of doubt to eliminate the certainty of the charge can lead to many difficult and uncomfortable perspectives on the same event. What really happened, or was understood to have happened, can be less clear than we thought. “Reasonable doubt” arises. We need look no further than the Jian Ghomeshi case to understand how the system fails women.
It seems to me that most of these encounters arise from an environment where men held power and felt able to exercise that power to abuse others without repercussions. In a way, I find that odd because my entire employed life was spent working with, and for, women. During the last 25 years at the City, most of my Managers, Directors and Commissioners were women, so I became very comfortable with women in power. It was understood that they were equals, or better, and I can’t imagine any of them putting up with inappropriate conduct. Perhaps when there are more women in power, men will be less inclined to behave poorly.