2024 A Year of Challenge and Patience

February 1: When I first saw this picture in the Globe and Mail this morning I thought it was of a militia somewhere in the middle east. I was wrong: It turned out to be a Second Amendment demonstration inside the capital building in Frankfort, Kentucky. Clearly, this is not a gathering of thoughtful and concerned citizens raising a philosophical argument about gun control. It’s about intimidation and the threat of possible consequences.

I’ve seen video of some gun ownership advocates arguing that this type of weapon is really only used for target practice or shooting deer. They must have some seriously aggressive deer in Kentucky if you need that sort of power to bring them down.  Whatever their intended use, advocates always seem to speak in a menacing and vaguely threatening tone, as if to say “I have a gun and I’m not afraid to use it ….”  Against you.

Until recently, I believed that Canada had a different frame of mind when it came to gun control. Now, I’m not so sure. I recently watched a TV report from western Canada which included interviews with several reps from the gun ownership lobby and the parallels in argument and language with their American counterparts was striking. I found it extremely worrisome because, unlike the United States, we have no “right to bear arms”. It’s a privilege.

At one time, long guns were registered. But, in what was clearly a move that pandered to rural voters, the long-gun registry was dismantled by our former Glorious Leader Harper, thereby removing one tool that Police might have used to track dangerous weapons. Roughly 7.5 million weapons were removed from government records. I suspect that, here in Canada, relatively few citizens are killed by rifles or shot guns. So arguably at least, perhaps there was not a lot to gain from registering these weapons. Farmers and hunters have a legitimate reason to arm themselves; life here in the city is different.

In Toronto last night, 3 people were shot to death at a house party. Little is known as I write this. The victims are all in their early 20’s. They were at a rented Airbnb when things went sideways. For whatever reason, someone felt sufficiently aggrieved to haul out a pistol(s) and try to settle the score. Clearly, the guns in question were not intended for hunting or target practice; I suspect they were “rented” from organized crime (like gangs) and smuggled into our country from the USA.

The Toronto Police Service reported 492 shootings last year resulting in 44 deaths and 246 people injured – that’s roughly 10 shootings a week with at least 5 people wounded or killed. The Police suggest that if we are not involved with gangs or crime, the chances of being a victim are slim, yet I am now seeing reports of “unintended victims” with greater frequency. Mayor Tory has been pushing for a handgun ban for some time, and the Federal parties have both been ragging the puck for far too long. The gun lobby would suggest that banning handguns would only penalize law-abiding owners, and to an extent, I understand that argument. That said, I think the time has come for us to do something about the spread of weapons in this country. I don’t ever want to see an armed militia on Parliament Hill. We are better than that.

 

The Globe and Mail weighs in:

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/editorials/article-on-gangs-and-guns-politicians-are-missing-the-point/

 

January 20:  The National on the CBC showed the following item by Mark Critch discussing the recent blizzard in Newfoundland. Perhaps I am a sentimental old goof, but I found it humorous and moving. Maybe we all need to be a bit more like our friends in Newfoundland.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/thenational/an-ode-to-the-newfoundland-storm-mark-critch-1.5434216

January 8: This morning I ran 5.4 km. It’s the fourth time I’ve run since Christmas and it’s not a lot when I consider that I was running 20 km a crack last year. But it’s a start back toward some level of fitness, and certainly better for me than an equal amount of time in front of the idiot box ( TV or computer – take your pick ). I ran through the cemetery as I frequently do. I find it quiet, safe and it provides a contemplative, if slightly melancholy place to reflect on things as I run. Mostly, though, it was just nice to have some time to myself to reflect on the chaos of the last few months.

Frequent reader(s) will know that I returned from Europe at the end of September. I had 4 days to pack the place up and get that moved to our new home just down the walk from my apartment. Kate was in a somewhat worse position because she had 20 years or so of accumulated possessions to sort through and decide whether to move them, store them, or recycle them. In the midst of that exercise, her time with the Ivey Foundation ended – something that we did not expect but which has worked out to be quite beneficial for both of us.

After she moved, there were many days spent “setting up house”. As anyone who has done this recently will tell you, it’s not as easy as it should be. Each of us is used to having certain things in certain places, and deviating from that means compromises or choices which need to be worked through. We spent a good long time doing this, and then realized that we still had to get ready for Christmas.

Kate is a shopper. I say that with some admiration because I am not. She enjoys thinking about what gift would be appropriate for each person on her list, and it can be a long list with sisters and in-laws and nieces and nephews and children. Then there is the process of tracking down the gift, getting it wrapped (also with great care and attention), and delivering it to the recipient. My aimless wandering through Winners and the LCBO, and stuffing the selected items in  bags, are clearly not going to cut the mustard next year.

Our expanded circle of friends generated what was – to me at least – a lengthy list of social commitments in December which included a gala concert, three group get-togethers, four dinners at home and two at others’ homes, two full-on Christmas dinners (on the same day, of course), two brunches, one celebration of life out of town, and thankfully, one quiet New Year’s dinner at home. If there is an element of the holiday season that I enjoy more than any other it is the opportunity to get together with people to begin or reinforce friendship, and to share good-will and happiness. These events didn’t disappoint. That said, it was a bit daunting for me – a natural recluse – to be in so many social situations in such a short time.

And now things have begun to feel more “normal” – whatever that might be. Given everything that has happened over the last couple of months, it honestly feels like Kate and I have not really had a routine time since we moved. It feels like now is the right time to pay attention to our lives together and get back in the groove on enjoying each others’ company. Maybe even do some running in the cemetery….

January 2: As set out in the previous post, I had my credit cards and identity stolen in late November. In mid-December I received a letter from TD saying that they had received my “claim of disputed transactions” and that they had concluded their investigation. Regrettably, my claim had been denied….

I found this to be interesting for many reasons: Beyond speaking to their representative when the cards had been stolen, I’d not made any claim or disputed any transactions with them. Their rep said that the charges that had been processed would not be charged to me. They were obviously fraudulent. I did go to the Police of my own volition, but that report, to the best of my knowledge, had not been sent to TD, so I have no idea what their “investigation” included.

The TD letter invited me to call their customer service number if I was upset that my claim had been denied ( it did, seriously… ) or if I had further information that “you think we should be aware of….”. I called on 4 successive days and waited a total of 2 hours and 35 minutes without speaking to an actual human being. ( Cursing out the recorded voice saying that “your call is important to us”, doesn’t count…. ) I now see why their corporate identity includes a large green chair. You need one so you can wait comfortably for someone to pick up the phone. I finally resorted to writing a letter to the VP in charge and had the local branch FAX it to her office.

In reply, Stephanie from TD called me and we had a pleasant chat. She finally got the sort of detail I might have expected from an actual “investigation”: things like “Where were you when this happened…?” The jury is still out on what I will have to cover from the expenses racked up by the thieves. But the one thing she did say that I found truly surprising is that all of the purchases were made with my PIN. Whoever had the cards also had the ability to read them to extract the PIN and make purchases within minutes of having stolen them. The PIN was entered perfectly the first time….

Technology marches on, nowhere more so than in crime, I suspect. I was naïve to much of this sort of thing, so the whole process has been an education for me. I mention all of this not for sympathy (of course), but in the hope that you may avoid a similar fate in the new year.

November 21: Have you ever noticed that the quality of background music is worse when you are forced to stay in one place and listen to it ? This thought occurred to me as I stood in line waiting at the Service Ontario kiosk in the basement of the Canadian Tire store listening to a batch of treacly, repetitious and moronic songs playing over a crackling and scratchy PA system. There was no escape, and the only saving grace was the fact the they were not yet playing an endless loop of even more treacly, repetitious and moronic Christmas music.

I was at Service Ontario to replace my Driver’s License, Health Card and vehicle registration documents. The originals were stolen, along with my wallet, while I was in a Starbucks on Yonge Street at Davisville, listening to a somewhat better selection of background music with Kate and our friend Michel. I had draped my bag, containing my phone, my wallet, house and car keys and a note pad over the back of the chair. When we got home later in the afternoon, there was a text from TD VISA saying that a “potentially fraudulent” purchase ( $3999 ) had been made at the Apple store in Yorkdale. When I called them back, I discovered that my wallet was gone along with my identity documents and all of my credit and debit cards.

I spent the next hour or so, calling each of the card companies to have the cards locked and get replacements. They had used the VISA card for 3 purchases of roughly $60 each at Shoppers, a $590 buy at Harry Rosen, and then the big ticket buy at Apple. Similarly, they rang up another $200 at Shoppers on a Master Card and then a couple of other big buys at other stores. When I asked the Master Card rep how they managed to get around the PIN security, he said that someone had called and changed the PIN number using my personal data.

It’s brilliant really: someone steals the wallet with both the charge cards and the personal data which allows them to circumvent the bank “security questions”. Having just called them to block the cards, I knew that the banks asked really tough questions like your home address and birth date – information obviously available right on a Driver’s License. It’s like locking the door and handing a thief the key.

When I went to the Police this morning, the officer said that this sort of thing happens “dozens of times every day”. The thieves go to a restaurant, steal cards from a purse or wallet and then go to a store ( like Shoppers ) to buy Apple gift cards. These can be redeemed at Apple for merchandise. If, as in my case, they find personal information as well, they can unlock the cards and use them to make a big ticket buy. Whatever they buy is then sold on Kijiji, or through an accomplice  in a store for cash.

There are a couple of bright spots in all of this. Firstly, they are apparently uninterested in my personal information. The cop said that in the hundreds of cases he had handled, there had never been a theft of identity. “Your stuff is in a dumpster at Yorkdale.” The other bright spot is that Kate and I were able to end this horrible day on a high note. Specifically, a high G sung by David Clayton-Thomas at Koerner Hall. He was doing a benefit concert for Peacebuilders – a charity which provides restorative programs and services to young people and works towards effecting change in the justice and education systems. It was a really special night ( our seats were upgraded to front row …). The music buoyed my spirits and I realized that, unlike the Muzak at Canadian Tire, this is actual music that I could enjoy for a very long time.

http://peacebuilders.ca/

November 5: Just as the Saucer Magnolia at the end of the street is a harbinger of Spring (see May 9), this Maple in the north courtyard is clearly telling us that Winter is just around the corner. For reasons I don’t understand, it is the first of the large trees to get buds in the Spring, and the first to go scarlet and begin to drop leaves in the Fall. Today it is completely devoid of leaves.

Perhaps because I was a summer baby born in July, I am not a huge fan of the colder seasons. As a Canadian, I understand that Winter is a fact of life. But I view it as something to be tolerated and complained about, rather than celebrated and enjoyed more fully. So it is that Autumn feels like the “end of the year” to me.

Spring and Summer are full of promise and vitality. We become more active and spend more time outdoors recreating or enjoying meals on the patio with food made from produce straight out of the ground. The world is alive. People travel more, enjoy vacations and time with friends. Days are warm, nights are fresh. Autumn is clearly the threshold between these warm and sunny days of summer and the colder, grey days of Winter. There is a finality to it – the falling leaves are as inevitable as the falling temperatures. There is no escape.

This time of year feels like it should be celebrated in some way that marks it as a special moment of transition between the heat of summer and the cold of Winter yet to come – the end of one year and the beginning of another. I think the Pilgrims were on the right track when they decided that they needed to celebrate their survival for another year and created Thanksgiving.

On the other hand, we celebrate our “year end” on New Year’s Day which falls smack in the middle of Winter when poorer weather is fully entrenched. There’s little hope that the date will mark a change to better weather (although it frequently gets worse …).  New Year’s feels like an artificial holiday that was manufactured to keep greeting card companies and liquor stores in business after the cash-register season around Christmas. ( In fact, the same could be said for many of our holidays: I’m looking at you Halloween and Valentine’s Day. )

So perhaps we should enjoy and celebrate the good weather and colourful trees while we have them. They mark a passage to a much darker ( literally and figuratively ) time of year.

November 11: And, as if on cue:

 

October 26:  I have said in the past that leaving for Europe often felt like Wiley Coyote pursuing the road-runner. Things become so complex and I become so rushed that I feel I have run off a cliff and am pedaling furiously in mid-air, before dropping into the abyss. This time, I have had that feeling on returning from Europe.

I knew this would happen. Before I left I decided that I would move to the new apartment on Friday, October 4. That meant that I had 4 days to pack everything in the apartment, make arrangements to transfer the various cable and telephone systems to the new place, and begin the process of organizing the new digs. On Monday I began packing and was lulled into that false sense that everything was under control. On Tuesday the Rogers cable guy arrived (on time) and started to work. He could only get the basement TV working; the upstairs would require a WIFI connection which was not part of their service. On Wednesday, the guy installing the new blinds arrived. He was done in less than a hour but sadly, the blinds he installed were not the ones we ordered.

That afternoon, I went to Home Depot to search out shelving units and other items for the new place. Kate called my cell phone as I stood in the hardware section with the news that she had been retired early. While it was totally unexpected – I thought at first she was kidding – it’s really a good news / bad news situation. We will certainly need to review the financial implications closely. On the other hand, she is free of the pressure and obligation of a full-time job that she did not entirely enjoy.

Throughout these few days I was expecting some contact from the mover. I had called him in August (from Donzenac, France) and had a verbal commitment to do the move on Friday. But when I finally reached him, he said that he had no record of the appointment to make the move. After stifling my rising panic, we discussed what had to be moved and he concluded that he could “fit it in”, starting at 1 PM.

And indeed they did move everything I owned in about 3 hours: out the back door of the apartment and down the walkway to the new townhouse. Of course, this was just phase one. Kate moved the following week, and we’ve spent the last week sorting through various boxes of things and finding mutually acceptable places for our various possessions. Rogers came back to complete installation of a WIFI system for the TV and internet. We rented a new storage unit and stashed a whole bunch of stuff “on a temporary basis”. Shelves are in. New drapes are on order and the place is starting to feel more like home.

It is said that moving is one of life’s most stressful events. (Job loss is another….) Although it looks simple when I see it described in words, there were certainly times during the last couple of weeks when I felt like Wiley Coyote on the cliff. There have been adjustments (where did we put …?) and many little jobs yet to do. But in the end, Kate and I are in a new place – both as a home and as the beginning of a new stage in our relationship. So far, it’s a very happy place.

September 21: On the road for 7 weeks now, this trip has felt like a series of chapters unfolding in slow-motion.

I faced the first chapter alone, getting the bike organized in Heidelberg and spending just over a week in Alsace and central France. No matter how many times I do this, there is always something new to challenge me, something different to confront. One difference this year has been a determination to take the time to be in the moment. I have often felt the urge to “move on” and I still have to push myself to just rest quietly and take stock of the things around me (like this scene from Ornans). This obviously takes more time and attention, but I ask myself what I am rushing to accomplish that can’t be done tomorrow. Or the next day. I have the luxury of time.

The second chapter unfolded with the arrival of my cousin James on a rented BMW motorcycle. He too felt the need to take a relaxed approach to the tour, having had a hugely busy and complex few months in Toronto. We ride well together; his strengths fill my weaknesses, and vice versa. It soon became apparent that much of what we might have thought possible ( a trip to the Stelvio Pass for example ) was wildly optimistic, given this more relaxed pace. That said, we covered more than 1,500 km in France and Switzerland over 2 weeks.

I’ve now entered the third and final chapter of this adventure. My partner Kate arrived last week. We spent 3 days in Paris and then took the TGV to Valence, south of Lyon, where we picked up a rental car which we will have for almost 2 weeks.

I believe that travel amplifies personal behaviours. If, like me, you are naturally cautious, travel can make you anxious and apprehensive. Although I felt comfortable and relaxed while moving around, I have encountered some difficulty sleeping throughout the trip which I attribute to the stress of anticipating things that might occur and finding options to fix them. Kate jokingly ( I hope ) calls me a Border Collie – always herding and looking for the next problem, even where one might not exist. She too has traits that have become more apparent with the pressures of travel. But together we found this pretty view of  Eze le Village.

Just before leaving on this trip, Kate and I decided to live together in a townhouse unit at Garden Court. It felt then, and still feels now, like the right thing to do at this stage of our relationship. When I left, Kate stepped in and did much of the heavy lifting in terms of getting the move organized while I ate and drank my way through Europe. I owe her a lot for that. Now that we are together, travel has become a stress-test of sorts, for the more intimate relationship we will face when we go home.

As we make that transition together, there have been stressful moments, and there will be many more to come. That’s the adventure in any relationship. I think the fun part in all of this – the travel, the emerging relationship with Kate – is to be just outside my comfort zone, challenging myself to evolve my views and behaviours to become a better man.

September 20: 

Think where a man’s glory most begins and ends,

and say my glory was I had such friends.

W. B. Yeats