November 29: When did I become a “Sir”? It obviously happened incrementally when I wasn’t paying attention, but it is increasingly a part of my everyday life. It comes without warning and always takes me by surprise, and not in a good way.
I’m talking about the way in which younger people that I identify as contemporaries address me as “sir” in a way that sounds vaguely like “you useless old git”. Standing in line at the drug store, a woman turns around and seeing me says “oh, after you sir” in a way that implies that she thinks I may collapse at any moment. Overly solicitous salespeople persist with “may I help you find something sir?” in a way that suggests that I may have inadvertently wandered into their section. And I can almost hear under their breath: “Maybe you’d find something more appropriate in the incontinence products section?”
I was taught to use the word out of respect for my elders. It was a sign of respect usually directed at someone much older than I and therefore decrepit, unwell, unhinged or in some other way in need of preferential treatment. Almost universally they were stooped, poorly dressed and smelled faintly of mothballs, body odour and gin.
In that day, the old were, well, older. My Grandparents all died younger than I am today, with the exception of my Grandmother (Dad’s side) who lived into her eighties. Of course, she was Scottish and drank whisky, so longevity was to be expected. Daily exercise was unheard-of and food was loaded with fat, sugar and additives. My Grandfather (Mum’s side) had bacon and eggs, coffee and a cigarette for breakfast most days. There’s a reason they call that “heart attack on a plate” and he had his first at 46 years of age; his Son died of one at age 53.
That was a little more than three decades ago. In the interim our diet has improved and our awareness of the need for exercise has grown exponentially. My peer-group is in far better shape than previous generations. I feel like I’m in better condition than I’ve been since High School. I’m more comfortable with who I am than at any other time in my life. I have an active life-style doing things I enjoy and interests to keep my little brain occupied. I have lots of friends who say the same thing.
I guess what I’m struggling with is the way in which a single word reminds me of the mismatch between how I feel about myself, and how the world at large perceives me. From the outside, I may be slightly stooped, more wrinkled, less agile and on occasion, carry the faint odour of gin. But on the inside I remain an alert, fit and dashing 45-years old, ready to take on the world. I’m not ready to accept that I am a “sir”, slowly shuffling into an irrelevant dotage.
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Madonna Buder began training at age 48 and completed her first triathlon at age 52 and first Ironman event at age 55. It’s reported that she has completed over 325 triathlons and 45 Ironman competitions. Not surprisingly she holds many records for her age group – 86 years old and still competing in both events.