December 4: For the last year – or perhaps two – I have known that I needed to deal with my “technology”: cellphone, internet, cable TV and home phone. In total, they cost me more than $325 a month. I am a very limited user of cellphone time, and my home phone is used only sparingly by people who have known me at that number for decades, or by ubiquitous duct-cleaning salesmen. While the need to do something was obvious, there was a certain inertia brought about by the need to wrangle with both Rogers and Bell to get it sorted out. They did not disappoint.
I went with a Virgin Mobile package which included internet and a new cell package. They use the Bell network. An appointment was made at the oh-so-friendly Virgin store and in due course the Bell tech appeared to do the switch over. The first thing he did was check the telephone number on my line. It turned out to be wrong. He disconnected the phone – which had been working perfectly for more than 3 years – and after talking to a manager at Bell, told me that I had to call Bell to get it reconnected. Did I mention that he was a Bell tech ?
Whatever. I called Bell and after navigating through the system and finding an actual person, made an appointment for another tech to come out the next day. They didn’t show up. I decided to call Bell back and cancel the phone entirely which led to the inevitable barrage of “things we can do to keep you as a customer”. After much hemming and hawing, their best deal was to cancel the wire-care package – a $4 saving. So long Bell.*
Next up was Rogers. Virgin actually cancelled my Rogers cell package when I signed up with them, and I thought that they had done the internet as well. When I went to return the modem to the store, I was told that the internet was still active and that I needed to call Rogers – from the fecking Rogers store – to get a work order. Again through the answering tree to a live person. She took some data – birth date and postal code – to identify me then said that she needed to talk to “scheduling”. I was going to ask what exactly we were scheduling, but she was gone before I could betray my stupidity. Many minutes passed. Many. She returned. Sorry for the delay, she was waiting for them to “pick up”. She inquired whether I would be interested in a less expensive TV package. When I responded positively she disappeared to check on what might be available. Many more minutes pass. Finally she returned again. Without a word about TV packages, I was handed over to the “Senior Care Specialist” in scheduling.
At this point I had waited about 20 minutes. Had it not been for the fact that I needed him to do something for me so that I could return the fecking modem to the fecking store in which I was actually standing at that precise moment, I might have said some rather imprudent things. After a very sympathetic few moments – he was obviously specially trained to deal with doddering seniors – he managed to click all the right boxes and I hung up as quickly as I could. I am quite sure that the whole exercise is a way to burn up as many cell phone minutes from a new carrier as possible.
As I returned to the counter in the Rogers store where I had been standing while waiting on “hold” for the last half-hour or so, I mentioned to the sales guy that this level of service is one reason people are so pissed with his company. He said that it’s pretty much the same at Bell. No argument from me, but when was it ever good for business to be as bad as your chief competitor ?
The whole process of getting a better rate seems to be an exercise of bouncing back and forth between the two major companies. I was once naïve enough to think that one of them might actually reduce my rates because I had stayed with them for so long – probably 20 years for each. But neither one really cares. Loyalty does not pay. The way to game the system is to go with one carrier on a new client rate and then switch to another when that runs out. The really great news is that you can then spend a day of your life dealing with their “customer service” teams. God help you….
* * * * *
By comparison, when I was in Europe this summer, I bought a Lycamobile SIM card for 35 Euro. It came loaded with text messaging and phone minutes – including long distance calls to Canada – at about 6 centimes a minute. In every country on the continent. I bought it at a corner store, used it all summer, and still had about 10 Euro left. It showed me very clearly how badly served we are by the providers and regulators in Canada.
* After this was written I found a home phone package with Koodo for $5 a month. Of course, it’s a special rate for new customers which expires after 6 months…..