Images

January 21: The third Monday of January has been identified as the most depressing day of the year. This may be understandable given that the weather has become intolerable for many, the excitement of the holiday season has passed, and the bills are rolling in. It’s instructive to know that Blue Monday was first coined in 2005 by a travel company as a way to promote southern vacations. More recently, the date has become associated with a campaign to promote better mental health practices.

When I was a child growing up in the ’50’s and ’60’s there was very little public acknowledgement of “mental health” as – pardon the pun – a state of mind. It seemed that people were either “crazy” and put in a psychiatric hospital or they were “well”. The former psychiatric hospital on Queen Street was such a forbidding place that it was known by it’s street number alone: 999.* As a child, “mental illness” conjured images of violence, of people constrained in darkened hallways and cells; it was a thing to be feared.

It certainly did not conjure the image of a genteel summer gathering to celebrate the wedding anniversary of my grandparents. Yet here we are in 1962 with my grandparents on either end; their children and spouses toward the rear, and the children of my generation gathered at the front. For that split-second when the picture was taken, all was well with the world. We were to all appearances “normal”.

Yet recent conversations with my cousins elicit a different picture. My grandfather is believed to have suffered from a deep depression and is thought to have spent some time in a sanitarium. At least 3 of his children dealt with depression as well, some for many years. Among the cousins there is also depression, and addictions, anxiety, schizophrenia and 2 suicides. My own father was an alcoholic whose disease may have been at least partly attributable to a form of PTSD, having spent a period of time dropping bombs on cities during the war ( only 18 years before this picture was taken ). Several of my friends have also shared stories of their own, or their parents’ struggles with addictions, anger management and mental health issues.

A recent article in the Globe and Mail quoted a survey undertaken by the Centre for Addictions and Mental Health (CAMH) that …. “showed 11.7 % of the respondents reported experiencing mental distress in 2017, up from 7.4% the previous year. That represents an estimated 1.2 million adults in the province who struggled with issues such as stress, depression and problems with their emotions on at least 14 of the last 30 days. The proportion of respondents who reported having thoughts of suicide nearly doubled to 4.1% from 2.3% in 2016.”

Obviously, mental health issues have always been with us and it’s gratifying to me that we are beginning to recognize not only the extent of the problem but the cost to the individual and, more broadly, to society. Perhaps more importantly, I’m gratified that we are beginning to demythologize mental illness and trying to understand the reality that so many people face each day. None of us is perfect, certainly not as “perfect” as that picture from so long ago. In reality, mental health issues affect us all in one way or another each and every day.

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* When the rebuilding of the site was undertaken by CAMH, that address was deliberately left unused in favour of 1001 Queen Street in order to break the association with past history.

http://www.camh.ca/en/camh-news-and-stories/ontario-adults-reporting-increases-in-mental-health-problems

 

February 6: Since returning from Europe, I have been considering taking some time off drinking alcohol. There was no particular reason for this, other than the vague feeling that drinking had become a bit of a hobby or something I turned to out of boredom.  I had already been trying to drink less over the holiday season – quality over quantity – but there was always the temptation to over-indulge while celebrating the season. “It’s only once a year.”

So January seemed to be the perfect time to go sober. After New Years, which I spent at home with a really good bottle of Cote du Rhone, there was nothing on my social calendar. Because so much of our social interaction is based on booze, not having a bunch of get-togethers meant that I could avoid the peer pressure to have “just one”. I made it to January 29 and then had a couple of drinks for my friend Murphy who passed away a year ago that date. I think he would have approved.

Over the course of the month I dropped almost a kilo of weight and lost the reflexive reach for a glass of wine while cooking, while eating, while tidying up. I did notice that I missed wine; after dinner there was an urge for something sweet or fruity and I realized that it was a time when I would normally reach for a glass of wine for “dessert”. Many people off booze say they sleep better and I found that to be true as well.

Overall, I didn’t find it all that difficult after the first week or so. Once over the “habit” of reaching for wine, it was quite easy to be dry. There are obvious psychological and health reasons for going sober and having achieved it once, it’s definitely something to consider for next year too.

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Here’s a link to an interesting TED Talk that deals with addictions in a different light. There are a number of themes that I find interesting and hope you will too.

This would be a hand-made replica of a 1935 Bentley. In an era of mass-produced computer-assisted everything, it is hard to conceive of the skill and patience that went into making this one-of-a-kind gem. So beautiful, and so evocative of a particular moment in history. A real Black Beauty.

Home, Jeeves.

http://www.thewholecar.com/1930-bentley-blue-train-recreation

January 28: We all have pictures like this: a moment frozen in time: the self-aware awkward glance at the camera perhaps hoping that if we don’t acknowledge it, it won’t get us. The man is wearing full Scottish regalia: kilt, shirt, and sporran – the works. He is striking and handsome. He is dancing “the old white man dance” as his daughter calls it, and he is laughing, perhaps caught in embarrassment. Behind him, emerging into the frame is a second man, also in full regalia.

These are my friends David and Ed in happier times – a wedding. And the picture seems to reflect how they were as friends: David always outgoing and the life of the party. He was the guy that told the stories. If David was around, we were laughing. Ed seemingly liked to hang back. More reserved, he was analytical and good with a trenchant comment that summarized his thoughts, deflated the pompous, and enlightened us mere mortals.

Sadly, David passed away 6 years ago, on Halloween – a day that will forever evoke his memory in me. His passing left a hole in our lives that has been impossible to fill. And today we learned that Ed too has died, unexpectedly and far too soon. Someone once said that Ed seemed to have a lot of unhappiness around him, and I suppose that is true. He certainly had problems in his life that had recently dominated his thinking. Yet he seemed hopeful and ready to make a change and I believed and hoped that he had many happier years ahead.

A year that started with such positive energy for me, and I think for him, has suddenly turned grey and cold. My consolation is the hope that that these two fine, handsome, strong men are still dancing together somewhere – enjoying a Tennant’s, a “wee Goldie” and laughing at the rest of us.

Godspeed bhoys…