July 31: After putting together Miscellanea (which follows), I found this work in progress buried in the draft folder. I found it interesting, so it’s been resurrected, perhaps to provide some perspective on the “then and now”.
April 17: I was walking by the lengthy line-up outside the Valu-Mart across the street when I noticed a sign in the window saying that they were short staffed as result of the COVID virus and that they were looking for temporary workers with “relevant experience” to fill the gap. I began absent-mindedly thinking that I might apply: It could be an opportunity to pick up some spare change, get a bit of exercise and serve the community by helping the food-chain.
Then I thought about that some more. I am 70 years old this year and therefore in the age group that is most vulnerable to the virus. And, while I do have experience in retail grocery stores – having worked in this very store when it opened as a Dominion in 1969 – that experience is now more than 50 years ago. And really, do I want to give up my morning coffee to go and put cans of peas on a shelf ?
That I was considering the job at all was borne out of a certain boredom or frustration – ennui* – arising from having unlimited time to sit around the house and think about nothing in particular. The job was a tangent that offered a diversion and possibly some sort of entertainment as the days stretched into infinity. And really, I think a lot of people have reached a point where they are ready to try just about anything to relieve the monotony of this enforced break. (I say this with the greatest respect for those of you still working from home, or looking after partners, parents or grandchildren.) There is not much that will change that situation until infection rates decline, and not much we can do to make that happen other than stay the course.
I am reminded of the word “acceptance”. You can look up a definition if you wish – you have the time. To me it means the ability to accept things affecting your life that you can not change, and a transition toward changing the things that you can – things that are beneficial for you. I have accepted that I am too old and useless to work in a grocery store. But I do enjoy writing, and painting, and running and those things are good for me and bring me joy. Sometimes. So maybe this is a good time for me to be focusing on those aspects of my life, and thinking less about the things I’m not able to do right now. The time will come for those things and we can celebrate that when it happens.
For now: another coffee. And more Netflix.
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*ENNUI: Noun: a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement. “He succumbed to ennui and despair.”
Synonyms: boredom · tedium · listlessness · lethargy · lassitude · languor · restlessness · weariness · sluggishness · enervation · malaise · dissatisfaction · unhappiness · uneasiness · unease · melancholy · depression · despondency · dejection · disquiet · Weltschmerz ( I love this word…. )